Can a man have a relationship with a women that is not his wife, say as in being close friends without people thinking that sex is involved in it?
Or is it that people are so insecure about their own relationship with their spouse that they think otherwise! :-\
you could be friends with her just don't spend too much time with her. If the two of you have been friends for a while i'm sure you wife won't mind
just a question to you. How do you feel if your wife goes out with male friends ??? if you trust her she can trust you also
If this is an issue then there are probably security or self-esteem problems involved somewhere. I have lots of girls who are friends, and my girlfriend has lots of guy friends. It's not an issue at all.
My girlfriend was, before being my girlfriend, my best friend. She has some male freinds, and even though sometimes I feel a bit jealous, I understand theya re just friends.
By the same token, I have many female friends. At some point I was interested in some of them but not all of them. One of them, whom I considered a very good friend, I was never interested in as a mate.
HTH
The thing is that we work together, and I, wanted to take it outside of the work place as in on-line chat( since the holidays are coming) and her husband got a little testy saying that she spends 8-10 hrs a day with me already, why do u need to talk outside of work! He is probably right but we enjoy each other's company, and I probably screwed up a good friendship!
The thing is if I was a female friend he wouldn't have a problem with it!
Also her husband works at the same place, but doesn't spend lunch with her,so why should he complain!
And yes my wife has male friends, that she see's as friends only! I, think maybe I, went over the line and probably should end friendship, or at least distance myself abit, but will be hard since I, work next to her! Don't need a crazed husband coming after my ass!
[quote author=rwtoften link=board=14;threadid=8245;start=0#msg74813 date=1070650622]
The thing is that we work together, and I, wanted to take it outside of the work place as in on-line chat( since the holidays are coming) and her husband got a little testy saying that she spends 8-10 hrs a day with me already, why do u need to talk outside of work! He is probably right but we enjoy each other's company, and I probably screwed up a good friendship!
The thing is if I was a female friend he wouldn't have a problem with it!
Also her husband works at the same place, but doesn't spend lunch with her,so why should he complain!
And yes my wife has male friends, that she see's as friends only! I, think maybe I, went over the line and probably should end friendship, or at least distance myself abit, but will be hard since I, work next to her! Don't need a crazed husband coming after my ass!
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I think you are partially right. You might need to distance a bit from her. however, you don't need to end the friendship. I'd say talk straight to her, and if needed be, to her husband.
Tell her it was not your intention to get her in trouble, and your only intention was to chat with ehr as you do with the rest of your friends, but You don't want to make her or her husband feel uncomfortable about it, so you are going to lay low for a bit.
Trickster, I told her last nite was sorry and didn't wont to upset her husband,
now just to lay low for awhile! She took it in stride I, guess didn't seem to happy about her husband being mad though! And she was distancing herself from me abit or maybe it was my imagine from being over tried! Anyways. see what happens today at work! Also tried to get onto opposite shift since we operate on a two shift rotation, did, but my new job opened on this shift so the company transfered me back, what luck! She wasn't to happy with me when I took the job on the opposite shift, though! Happy that the company but me back on this shift!
i would sit down with her, and discuss it, and see what you can include that would please her housband too.
make sure he especially understands that your only interested in friendship.
however, thats basicly what everybody is saying, thats all i can offer. its no use ruining a friendship over in my books.
Well, I think screwed that friendship up, but her husband will be very happy!
And that was the main goal today! Man that was really hard to do! Now feel like I'm missing something in my life, yea like a good friend! Sorta feels like part of me was torn apart! ???
[quote author=rwtoften link=board=14;threadid=8245;start=0#msg74846 date=1070693868]
Well, I think screwed that friendship up, but her husband will be very happy!
And that was the main goal today! Man that was really hard to do! Now feel like I'm missing something in my life, yea like a good friend! Sorta feels like part of me was torn apart! ???
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im sorry to here that
i know how it feels...
its kinda a different story, but same, if not worse result, but think about it this way. at least you didnt make the mistake i did.
alright, my friend (if i can still call her that) is a lesbian...though it doesnt matter to me, she is a good friend either way...and because it doesnt matter to me, i made a gay joke to another kid (he moved closer to me (not too close though) to try to get me to give up my food, and i was like "get off me faggot!"..which pissed molly off. i can understand that though, i didnt even think to take in consideration that it might apply to her and offend her. we talked about it later, i appologized (i could tell she was upset, and i hade NO intention of hutring her)..and then we went on like normal friends for the next couple days..then my friend edria was holding a VHS-C tape close to her crotch because my friend reed was trying to grab it, she decided that that would detur him. i told reed he shouldnt check her out like that, and molly thought i was talking to her. again, she approached me about it, i explained what my intentions were, and she said she never wants to talk to me again..
that was like two weeks ago..
though...today she actually came and sat by me to do school work, so i think things are getting a little better.
i do take full responsibility for both things..and i never ment to hurt her..
i guess my point is, rwtoften, things happen, even to your favorite friends. i know sorta how you feel, (that emptiness inside) even though it was a different situation. basicly, just give it some time, try to be her friend, but dont let yourself too close..after a while, her husband will (hopefully!) be a little easier about it..its probobly just a new experiance for him. unless he is very insecure..
though, im only 17 so i havnt had to deal with marriage in friendships yet.
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