>>You always hear "the rules" from the female side. NOW here
>>are "THE RULES" from the male side. These are our rules! Please
>>note....these are all numbered "1" ON PURPOSE!! Females should
>>print a copy and keep it with them at all times for future
>>reference.
>>
>> 1: Learn to work the toilet seat. You're a big girl. If it's
>>up, put it down. We need it up, you need it down. You don't hear
>>us complaining about you leaving it down.
>>
>> 1: Shopping is NOT a sport. And NO, we are never going to
>>think of it that way.
>>
>> 1: Crying is blackmail.
>>
>> 1: Ask for what you want. Let us be clear on this one.
>>Subtle hints do not work! Strong hints do not work! Obvious hints
>>do not work! Just say it!
>>
>> 1: "Yes" and "No" are perfectly acceptable answers to almost
>>every question.
>>
>> 1: Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it.
>> That's what we do. Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.
>>
>> 1: A headache that lasts for 17 months is a problem. See a
>>doctor.
>>
>> 1: Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an
>>argument. In fact, all comments become null and void after 7 days.
>>
>> 1: If you won't dress like the Victoria's Secret girls, don't
>>expect us to act like the soap opera guys.
>>
>> 1: If you think you're fat, you probably are. Don't ask us.
>>
>> 1: If something we say can be interpreted two ways, and one of
>>the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one.
>>
>> 1: You can either ask us to do something or tell us how you
>>want it done. Not both. If you already know best how to do it,
>>just do it yourself.
>>
>> 1: Whenever possible, please say whatever you have to say
>>during commercials.
>>
>> 1: ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows Default
>>Settings. Peach, for example, is a fruit, not a color. Pumpkin is
>>also a fruit. We have no idea what mauve is.
>>
>> 1: If it itches, it will be scratched. We do that.
>>
>> 1: If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing", we will act
>>like nothing's wrong. We know you are lying, but it is just not
>>worth the hassle.
>>
>> 1: If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, expect
>>an answer you don't want to hear.
>>
>> 1: When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear
>>is fine. Really.
>>
>> 1: Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are
>>prepared to discuss such topics as baseball, the shotgun formation,
>>or monster trucks.
>>
>> 1: You have enough clothes.
>>
>> 1: You have too many shoes.
>>
>> 1: I am in shape. ROUND is a shape.
>>
>> Thank you for reading this. Yes, I know, I have to sleep on
>>the couch tonight, but did you know men really don't mind that;
>>it's like camping.