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Funny Quotes
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Thread: Funny Quotes

  1. #1

    Funny Quotes

    http://www.bash.org/?top

    those are the top 50-100, but there are always plenty more.
    i find them hilarious.

  2. #2

    Re:Funny Quotes

    blazemore> omg i love this song
    <blazemore> Now playing: Unknown Artist - Track 2 @ 128 Kbps. (0:47/3:24)
    <Javi> blazemore: yeah, that's a bad ass song
    Some people.......

  3. #3

    Re:Funny Quotes

    oh shit...

    some of those are so great....

    <reuben> somebody keeps jiggling the doorknob on my front door, then running away
    <reuben> i don't know if i should call the police, or hook up some electricity to the doorknob
    <cristobal> why don't you put ice on the stairs
    <cristobal> and heat up the door knob
    <cristobal> and swing paint buckets down from your two story foyer
    <cristobal> then a few years later, fade from the public eye.....

  4. #4
    Guest

    Re:Funny Quotes

    <erno> hm. I've lost a machine.. literally _lost_. it responds to ping, it works completely, I just can't figure out where in my apartment it is.
    Don't you hate when that happens...

    <tatclass> YOU ALL SUCK DICK
    <tatclass> er.
    <tatclass> hi.
    <andy\code> A common typo.
    <tatclass> the keys are like right next to each other.
    I would really like to see his keyboard layout...

    <xterm> The problem with America is stupidity. I'm not saying there should be a capital punishment for stupidity, but why don't we just take the safety labels off of everything and let the problem solve itself?
    Exellent idea - ladies and gentlemen - I give you a future president.

    <ohm> damn
    <ohm> FUCK
    <ohm> DAMN
    <ohm> i was just in an AIM convo with a chick, and my grandmother's window pops up
    <ohm> FUCK
    <ohm> i go like this to her
    <ohm> "i want to suck on your clit"
    <ohm> FUCK
    I hate when that happens

    <turno> I want to fuck Michelle's brains out with my huge fucking cock, over and over again .. and then her sister can come and join us too.
    <Seeker> Err turno, your mom reads the quotes on bash.org?
    <turno> I'll fucking KILL YOU! !
    <Seeker> Your mom does work for the church ? If she reads what you just said she'd be pretty angry right?
    <turno> Dude you have no fucking clue, don't seriously... you'd be ruining my life.
    <Seeker> Don't worry, I won't post it.
    [Privmsg] <Seeker> Hey dude, I'm gonna paste something - will you post it on bash.org?
    [Privmsg] <opiate> the turno thing? haha you fucking bastard!!
    [Privmsg] <Seeker> hehe his mom's gonna fucking kill him, drag him to that church they go to and get the priest to sodomise him.
    [Privmsg] <opiate> yeah and then he's gonna come fucking kill us, still I reckon it's worth it
    [Privmsg] <turno> You're not gonna post it are you ? Please don't .. I'm begging you.
    [Privmsg] <Seeker> I'm not gonna post it and even if I did she'd never know that your nick turno was her son Michael Savu .
    [Privmsg] <turno> *phew* spose you have a point
    With friends like that, who needs enemies?

    <Beeth> Girls are like internet domain names, the ones I like are already taken.
    <honx> well, you can stil get one from a strange country :-P
    Tried that - remember how it ended?
    - proud owner of whalesex.gov

    <calin> we had a guy at school that wore black lipstick.. and was all gothy.. and then one day we caught him buying an assvibrator
    <ecoli> ew.
    <ecoli> wait, you "caught" him?
    <ecoli> like, you were behind him in line at the assvibrator store?
    <Aero> he doesnt answer
    *** Quits: calin (No route to host)
    :-X

    <kow`> "There are 10 types of people in the world... those who understand binary and those who don't."
    <SpaceRain> That's only 2 types of people, kow.
    <SpaceRain> STUPID
    CLASSIC !!!

    <ckx> women ask for it
    <ckx> they act all old and mature
    <ckx> and then you stick your cock up their ass
    <ckx> and they get all bitchy
    <ckx> "I"M ONLY 13, I'M ONLY 13!!!"
    Am I strange? - I never had that happen....

    <Spazz> Seems like when I say "FUCK" you get an EOF error
    *** Quits: Ranto (~recon@newax2-042.dialup.optusnet.com.au) (Read error: EOF from client)
    *** Joins: Ranto (~recon@newax2-042.dialup.optusnet.com.au)
    <Bartolimis> fuck
    *** Quits: Ranto (~recon@newax2-042.dialup.optusnet.com.au) (Read error: EOF from client)
    *** Joins: Ranto (~recon@newax2-042.dialup.optusnet.com.au)
    <Bartolimis> fuck
    <Spazz> fuck
    *** Quits: Ranto (~recon@newax2-042.dialup.optusnet.com.au) (Read error: EOF from client)
    *** Joins: Ranto (~recon@newax2-042.dialup.optusnet.com.au)
    <Spazz> fuck
    <Bartolimis> stop
    *** Quits: Ranto (~recon@newax2-042.dialup.optusnet.com.au) (Read error: EOF from client)
    *** Joins: Ranto (~recon@newax2-042.dialup.optusnet.com.au)
    <Bartolimis> we're done >
    <Ranto> hmh?
    <Spazz> Your client got an error...
    <Bartolimis> yeah, we're done saying fuck
    <Spazz> everytime we said f***
    *** Quits: Ranto (~recon@newax2-042.dialup.optusnet.com.au) (Read error: EOF from client)
    *** Joins: Ranto (~recon@newax2-042.dialup.optusnet.com.au)
    <Spazz> Quit saying fukc
    <Bartolimis> my bad
    <Spazz> fuck*
    *** Quits: Ranto (~recon@newax2-042.dialup.optusnet.com.au) (Read error: EOF from client)
    *** Joins: Ranto (~recon@newax2-042.dialup.optusnet.com.au)
    <Icc> Someone says fuck and he drops ?
    *** Quits: Ranto (~recon@newax2-042.dialup.optusnet.com.au) (Read error: EOF from client)
    Strangest IRC error I've ever seen - kinda reminds me of an old Monty Python skit - "oh blimey now I have to stand in the teachest - don't say madras !"

    <DaZE> at my school.. the cop from DARE passed around 3 joints to show everyone... and he said "if i dont get all three of these back this schools getting locked down and everyones getting searched till i find it.." and like 30 minutes later when everyone got to see 'em and they got passed back the cop had 4
    So that's where my dope went..

    <@Logan> I spent a minute looking at my own code by accident.
    <@Logan> I was thinking "What the hell is this guy doing?"
    So it's not just me who does that

    <skrike> I think the people above me are having sex
    <skrike> either that or they're sleeping restlessly and agreeing with each other a lot.
    I'll go for option b.



  5. #5

    Re:Funny Quotes

    OMG Thank you so much for this site I now have something to do at work, read EVERY quote on the site!!!!!! TOO FUNNY!!!

  6. #6

    Re:Funny Quotes

    <blazemore> linux gives good blow jobs
    <MadHatter> I thought your moms name was nancy?

    too funny =P

    if there is anything better than irc, i havent heard of it.
    or i have and just dont agree :P

    hmm that should be a quote too ;D

    my friend is in aviation, and he was up in the air with his instructor talking about multi-engine planes, and the instructor said "sometimes an engine goes out" and my friend said "how far will one engine get you" and the instructor said "all the way to the scene of the crash"

    we thought it was pretty funny =P

  7. #7
    Senior Member
    Join Date
    Sep 2002
    Posts
    421

    Re:Funny Quotes

    LMAO

    I love this one:
    ::: .enter@6.53p> _YOU (harpeet@149.99.97.190)
    ~ _YOU HAVE RECEIVED A FATAL ERROR, PRESS ALT + F4 TO REPAIR THIS IMMEDIATELY
    ::: .signoff@6.53p> _YOU (harpeet@149.99.97.190); ...
    ::: .signoff@6.53p> BlueBold (me@tnt01dla202.winnipeg.escape.ca); Leaving
    ::: .signoff@6.53p> ic3d (ic3d@64-59-140-156.ivideon.com); Leaving
    ::: .signoff@6.53p> CoolJeff4 (LoKv70@anolas01-p88.mts.net); Leaving
    Kinda reminds me on this UF comic strip:


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