Random mutterings about life in general

[CP]

I'm just gonna do exactly that right now, mutter along and say whatever pops into my head, theres heaps I want to say but don't know how to, or what I actually do want to say. I suppose what is really bothering me most atm is that I have a friend in hospital, and not just the normal part of hospital, the psyc ward of the hospital. She tried to kill herself and now she is in there, and I don't know what to say to someone who doesn't want to live. I've tried, and I'm holding out hope that there is something I can do, but I don't think there is. She seems to have it in her head that its the best thing for her to do, the solution to all her problems etc, and no matter what I say she doesn't seem to change at all. What can you do? How can people think that suicide is the answer to all their problems, to me its one of the most selfish things you can possibly do, you solve your own problems and then cause so much grief and suffering to everyone who knew you. I'm so worried that as soon as she gets out of the hospital shes going to try again, and you don't usually fail twice so I don't know what to do, I know that there probably is nothing I can do, but its so hard just to sit around and wait, and hope that things get better. I don't beleive in all this bullshit that people spin about how to help people, and I don't think that the drugs they give people work, and I am most definitely again ECT, but I don't know what to do. I mean I've talked to her, and tried to make her see that shes got things good in her life, and she knows she does, but just isn't happy. As bad as somethings get in life they can only get better is what I've always thought, and how I continue to think, I mean when people do something like this it seems totally stupid. Why do people do it? Does anyone really know? And does anyone know how we can prevent it? Apparently NZ has one of the highest rates of youth suicide in the world, and there is all this bullshit about, all these programs to help people, but none of them seem to work. Its easy to say that you have to do this, or you have to do that, but it just doesn't work. There has to be something fundamentally wrong in a society where young people try to kill themselves. I think rather that trying with just these small programs designed to help the "at risk" people we need to look further into our society and see where the problems arise from, and try to prevent that happening. I'm sorry to dump all this crap on you guys if you've read it all, but its just something that really bothers me. I think that everyone thinks about suicide, its normal to, but its not normal to act on it. Thanks for letting me rant on here
CP

[trickster]

When people try to commit suicide, they usually are set on what is called "tunnel vision"; basically they cannot focus on anything but the negative factors that make them feel life is not worthy.
There is no magic recipe for helping someone on this condition. There are some things that have proven to be useful to break this "tunnel vision" : support, talking about the things that bother that person, involving the person in new activities that might get her mind of the problems (at least for some time), exercise, company, basically any thing that might make the person focus on other things than the things that are wrong in their lives.

[BurntAsh]

i think its just something "chemical" in the person you know thats just how a person could be, whether its because of how they have been treated in life. tricktster said it best, the "chemical" thing in their minds is the tunneled vision on where they can only focus on bad things in life, i think thats how depression works, i dont think people are cowards though for committing suicide, you dont know how their mind is working. they just arent in the right frame of mind. I think alot of suicidal tendencies come from social problems, I know thats why I've always wanted to commit suicide, when you are treated like an outcast or complete shit every year of your life and it doesnt look like something thats going to change, you just think "what the hell is the point anymore?"

[mcdougrs]

As someone who has recently delt with this myself, I can only offer you a point of view of the depressed. It is kinda hard to put into words how it feels but let me try.

Unfortunately when you are that state of mind suicide seems like the only solution. Every little bad thing that happens to you just seems to pile on your shoulders. But it just isn't a little weight either it seems like the weight of the world, no matter how big or small the issue or event. Not everyone can be Atlas and bear the wieght of the world for ever. Also in that frame of mind, it actually seems like not being there will be the best thing for everyone involved... Not to mention the fact that the last thing that your thinking of is other people at that point.

CP I'm definately not attacking you on the following, or anyone else for that matter, I just have a different point of view on this subject. But what I think is selfish is that someone could want another person to suffer through life. I mean you don't have to want them dead but to want them to have to suffer longer just seems mean. And that is exactly what you do when you are depressed and entertaining thoughts of suicide... Suffering. Everyday hurts more than anything you could imagine, sometimes it just hurts to breath.

Please please please don't take offense to any of this, as I finish writing this I'm kinda realizing that I definately have not over come my own depression. So I can understand how you guys would think of me as an A$$ but this is how I feel right now.

Sorry,
Ryan