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Thread: A question

  1. #1

    A question

    Alright I have a question to ask but I don't exactly know how to bring it up... So I guess I'll just ask it.

    Does anyone hear ever think of suicide?

    I mean yes I do think that I am getting partially depressed with the whole lack of a job thing but I've thought of these things before and always felt like I should be ashamed for thinking them, and yes I know it is not an answer. It just seems sometimes that your(I'm) up against SO MUCH in my life that I'm sick of fighting for everything. I mean WTF happened to "Go to college, you'll get a job!" I spent 5 years of my life getting an education that hasn't gotten me SQUAT. Why won't anyone just give me a shot... I have SUCH a passion for computers and everything that can be done on them, and then there are people out there in the field that actually HATE computers and are only in it for the money. When do I get my shot to be great, when is it my turn to be happy and successful?

    Sorry for the rant as you can tell I have no friends to talk to so this is where I feel like I can turn I guess.

  2. #2
    Good Guru
    Compunuts's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2001

    Re:A question

    I've never thought of suicide so I'm not sure it's right or wrong but .........

    All I can tell you is that don't expect too much out of life and you will do just fine .......

    There are lots of others who share your experience but life is hard sometimes.

    I'm almost in the same boat as you. I'm a very qualified professional ( I hope ;D ) and good with computers and servers. But my day job is totally different field. I used to be purchasing agent for a telecommunication company and currently the owner/operator of a small fast food place.

    Then there are a few of my friends who needs my help for Linux to WinNT problems and they are teaching in technical school.

    So go figure about life .....

    But still, I"m happy where I am now.

    Believe me, it's a whole lot better than being a homeless and nothing to eat.

    The most valuable things in life are that you didn't get easily.

  3. #3

    Re:A question

    you are contemplating suicide just because you have no job?

    come on do you realize just how selfish that is? i graduated high school in 87 and I did not get a career until 2001. so lets see thats 14 years to get a decent career. in that time i got a BA, worked numerous jobs, went back to university to take a BSc which I stopped after two years, then went to vocational college for two years and became a lab tech. there was a point in time where i was working two jobs and going to university. i was sleeping an average of four hours a night during the weekdays and four hours total on the weekend. for those two years i made maybe 1100 a month of which most went to paying bills. i even fell asleep while delivering newspapers! (yes i mean sleeping and delivering papers while sleeping!)

    all told i am still 13,000 bucks in debt which is nothing compared to other people. as a matter of act my story just pales in comparison to alot of other people.

    you have to stop internalizing what is happening. you have to stop waiting for things to come to you and take charge. if your current education is not enough to get you an entry level job then time for some more education or time to look outside your city /town. go where the action is or train for where the future is.

    I realized in 1992 that my BA would never earn me any sort of interesting career so i went back to school (it took 5 years but the only way to make cash is to chase the opportunities).

    work on your interview skills be relaxed, confident, and friendly. don't fake it or be submissive. if you keep telling your self you are a loser then..not meaning to be harsh.. you are. no one wants a weak coworker.

    above all you have to realize that stuff like this happens and you can overcome it. hell university/college is probably more hard work than any career. I know i have worked alot of jobs and attented many many many hours of courses and studied for thousands of hours.

  4. #4

    Re:A question

    Exercise has been shown to improve the mental state of depressed people, I suggest bikeriding that certainly helped me, coupled with a cocktail of antidepressants and something called Magnesium Phosfat Acid D6 (sounds silly but that herbal medicine really works).

    As for suicide it's an ugly business, take my word on this...

  5. #5

    Re:A question

    Suicide probably in passing and wonderment but never really with any intention. As for the career thing keep plugging and sending resumes, after leaving the service, I couldn't find anything in my field seems military electronics were way behind the times. It took me about nine years to develope the skills to do my current job, but along those lines I worked in various jobs that each built upon those skills and raised their levels. in 2000 I applied for and got a great job with a great company. I really believe that all the experiences that I encountered along the way were leading me here and from here the options only improve. Just keep on learning and promoting yourself something will find you.

  6. #6

    Re:A question

    Dude, if your under 45, join the air force. Tell them you want to be a 2E2X1 I think it is, which is a 9 month school teaching you about routers, computers, etc. Life is taking the hand your dealt, and winning anyway...8)

  7. #7

    Re:A question

    Thoughts of suicide are not uncommon really. Up to a certain point, they stem from self-pity, frustration, anger, etc.
    I consider myself lucky in the work aspect. I have a BA in Psychology, though I work now as a Network Ops. Specialist (go figure.) Anyway, I had a hard time getting a job for like two months after I moved here. Then, I took a job as an intern. They liked the my work, and went out of their way to give me a position, even though I didn't studied computers. The pay is not wonderful, but it is not bad really.
    My point is, don't feel bad for thinking of suicide. As far as I remember from my Suicide Counseling class, it is not uncommon to fantasize about it. However, stop at that.
    If you feel this developing further, get help. There are many organizations that offer free counseling for this. Feel free to drop me a PM if you want the contact info.
    Basically, try to focus on this: People don't have anything against you regarding not giving you a job. It is not personal. So you just have to keep trying. If you can't get a good job, get whatever you can, and keep looking. At least, it will pay the bills.

  8. #8

    Re:A question

    suicide? hell no! far too many things have pissed me off for me to even consider it. i like animals - alot! all i have to do is pick up a paper and it will take me maybe 5 minutes to find something to act on, be it write the offenders or something. of course i don't choose to go through life angry and so i hang out on linux sites, soemthing else i like but don't get worked up over. now i have children and i would be doing them a rather horrid dis-service if i were to do some thing like that, plus i thnk the wife would be a bit angry.

  9. #9
    Kind Mastermind
    stryder144's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2001
    Denver, CO

    Re:A question

    Hey, man

    Thinking about suicide is normal. Acting on it is not normal.

    Whatever your spiritual perspective, I like to think that God made us all as wonderful, even beautiful works of art. Sure, we're not all Michelangelo scultpures (I think that I am more of a Picasso, myself ), but then, we're all beautiful and interesting, none the less. What that means to me is that to destroy such a peice of art would be criminal. Not to mention, you won't reach Vallhalla, Paradise, Nirvana, Heaven, or Serendipity-do-da if you destroy yourself. Now that would be a shame.

    As for a job, well, let me see. There are many opportunities out there (most even pay money ;D). I'm pretty certain that my sister-in-law's company is always hiring (they are government contractors). You might have to move (hopefully that isn't a problem). There is always the military (heck, they want people so bad that they should be willing to give you a guarenteed job). You could enlist, try it out for a few years, if you like it, you could seek a commission. Then you will get big bucks, lots of respect (at least lip service), and an opportunity to command a decent wage when your commission is up.

    Don't let the hard times get you down. Like Lovey, I've been depressed and all. Good times come and go. Bad times come and go. The main point is that you need to take life's little ups and down, season them with humor, and take a big stinking bite out if it. Then smile as you chew slowly! Nothing pisses the powers that be off more than making them think that you enjoy that big ole shyte sandwich that you just ate!

    If you need anything (including a number to my sister-in-law's human resource department), pm me. Seriously. There are people here who care for you (even if we have never actually met face to face).


  10. #10

    Re:A question

    Well I must say thanx for all of the nice comments and the concerns. I am just going through a REALLY tough part of my life right now.

    It's not just that I don't have a job its everything else that stems from that. It is the fact that I can't help my wife in paying the bills, its that the only reason we are keeping our heads abouve the proverbial waters(financially speaking) is because of a woman that has taken us in and basically treated us as her own children(she even paid a $575 car repair bill on my truck so I would have transportation), its the fact that I CAN'T even turn to the armed forces - they won't take me, I'm too fat (350lbs) I was interested once when a recruiter called me and he said that there was nothing they could do for me when I told him my weight - its that I feel like a complete and utter FAILURE as a man for not being able to take care of my wife and live as we want to. There is just SOOOO much going on in my head that I can't even get it all out.

    So again thanx for all of the concern and comments I think after my wife and I fix the fight we just had tonight we have a LONG HARD ROAD AHEAD for getting me back to where I should be mentally and emotionally.

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