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Thread: The Rules of Manhood

  1. #1
    Guest

    The Rules of Manhood

    Got this in the email this morning. ;D ;D

    The Code of Man




    1. Thou shall not rent the movie Chocolat.

    2. Under no circumstances may 2 men share an umbrella.

    3. Any man who brings a camera to a bachelor party may be legally killed
    and eaten by his fellow partygoers.

    4. When you are queried by a buddy's wife, girlfriend, mother, father,
    priest, shrink, dentist, accountant, or dog walker, you need not and
    should not provide any useful information whatsoever as to his whereabouts.
    You are permitted to deny his very existence.

    5. Unless he murdered someone in your immediate family, you must bail
    a friend out of jail within 12 hours.

    6. You may exaggerate any anecdote told in a bar by 50 percent without
    recrimination; beyond that, anyone within earshot is allowed to call
    BULLSHIT . (Exception: When trying to pick up a girl, the allowable
    exaggeration rate rises to 400 percent).

    7. If you've known a guy for more than 24 hours, his sister is off limits

    8. The minimum amount of time you have to wait for another guy who's
    running late is 5 minutes. For a girl, you are required to wait 10 minutes for
    every point of hotness she scores on the classic 1-10 babe scale.

    9. Complaining about the brand of free beer in a buddies refrigerator
    is forbidden. You may gripe if the temperature is unsuitable.

    10. No man is ever required to buy a birthday present for another man.
    In fact, even remembering a friends birthday is strictly optional and slightly
    gay.

    11. Agreeing to distract the ugly friend of a hot babe that your buddy
    is trying to hook up with is your legal duty. Should you get carried away
    with your good deed and end up having sex with the beast, your pal is forbidden
    to speak of it, even at your bachelor party.

    12. Before dating a buddy's "ex", you are required to ask his permission
    and he in return is required to grant it.

    13. Women who claim they "love to watch sports" must be treated as spies
    until they demonstrate knowledge of the game and the ability to pick
    a buffalo wing clean.

    14. If a man's zipper is down, that's his problem, you didn't see nothin'.

    15. The universal compensation for buddies who help you move is beer.

    16. A man must never own a cat or like his girlfriend's cat.

    17. When stumbling upon other guys watching a sports event, you may always
    ask the score of the game in progress, but you may never ask who's playing.

    18. When your girlfriend/wife expresses a desire to fix her whiney friend
    up with your pal, you may give her the go-ahead only if you'll be able to
    warn your buddy and give him time to prepare excuses about joining the
    priesthood.

    19. It is permissible to consume a fruity chick drink only when you're
    sunning on a tropical beach... and it's delivered by a topless
    supermodel...and it's free.

    20. Unless you're in prison, never fight naked.

    21. A man in the company of a hot, suggestively dressed woman must remain
    sober enough to fight.

    22. If a buddy is outnumbered, out manned, or too drunk to fight, you
    must jump into the fight. Exception: If within the last 24 hours his actions
    have caused you to think, "What this guy needs is a good ass-whoopin", then
    you may sit back and enjoy.

    23.Phrases that may NOT be uttered to another man while weight lifting:
    "Yeah, baby, push it!" "C'mon, give me one more! Harder!" "Another set and
    we can hit the showers." " Nice ass, are you a Sagittarius?"

    24. Never hesitate to reach for the last beer or the last slice of pizza,
    but not both. That's just plain mean.

    25. If you compliment a guy on his six-pack, you better be referring
    to his beer.

    26. Never join your girlfriend/wife in dissing a buddy, except when she's
    withholding sex pending your response.

    27. Never talk to a man in the bathroom unless you're on equal footing:
    either both urinating or both waiting in line. In all other situations,
    a nod is all the conversation you need.

    28. If a buddy is already singing along to a song in the car, you may
    not join him...too gay

  2. #2
    Moderator
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    stryder144's Avatar
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    Re:The Rules of Manhood

    Tis indeed a classic!

  3. #3
    Guest

    Re:The Rules of Manhood

    Never even heard of the movie "Chocolate"

  4. #4
    Guest

    Re:The Rules of Manhood

    [quote author=LinuzRulz link=board=17;threadid=3660;start=0#37446 date=1023673522]
    Never even heard of the movie "Chocolate"
    [/quote]

    It's a shame, it's quite good...

    *ups*


    *RUN FOREST RUN*

  5. #5
    Advisor Outlaw's Avatar
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    Re:The Rules of Manhood

    16. A man must never own a cat or like his girlfriend's cat.
    That's what I'm talkin' about yo.

  6. #6
    Guest

    Re:The Rules of Manhood

    The only reason manly enough to own a cat, is to either:
    a) use it to train your german shepard to attack on command

    or

    b) Feed it to your german shepard as a reward for attacking on command.


  7. #7

    Re:The Rules of Manhood

    The only reason manly enough to own a cat, is to either:
    a) use it to train your german shepard to attack on command

    or

    b) Feed it to your german shepard as a reward for attacking on command.
    Hmmm....my cat can fetch my cigs. Does that count? My chow just eats them. :P

  8. #8
    Advisor Outlaw's Avatar
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    Re:The Rules of Manhood

    [quote author=Mountainman link=board=17;threadid=3660;start=0#37640 date=1023783019]
    The only reason manly enough to own a cat, is to either:
    a) use it to train your german shepard to attack on command

    or

    b) Feed it to your german shepard as a reward for attacking on command.


    [/quote]

    You're a fan of shepherds too I see?

  9. #9

    Re:The Rules of Manhood

    Isn't "The Man Show" on Comedy Central the shit ;D

  10. #10
    Senior Member
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    Re:The Rules of Manhood

    ah cmon ive got lots of cats and dogs too. a man that doesnt love this girlfriends cat wont get any.

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