Except the last name and the cocaine abuse, me and Mr. Carothers are pretty much alike. He sounds like a typical TS sufferer, other signs are depression, inability to fit into normal society, and as you said, most of all obsessive compulsion.

I haven't had an easy childhood, I've always been different, been the target of the ridicule, I've taken my share of beatings in my time. I've never been very bright and I've only seldomly done well in school. So I retracted my life in front of the computer.

As you might has figured, I obsess about alot of things, amongst these are NGene. I do love her, and probably to a more extreme level than she has ever experienced. This can be scary, not just for her, but also for me - the fear of getting hurt was so strong that I almost turned around when I stood outside her door (with flowers and all mind you - would have looked silly I guess). And still it took me three days to get the courage to kiss her. It's scary to be so overpowered by ones emotions, but it part of the mystery called love.

To explain, some TS patients are violent, some extent their emotionel distress via drugs. I feel very powerfully, fx. I have no friends for whom I would not take a bullet - I've always been very generous, both emotionel and financial. Ask anyone I know, and they will tell you just that.
And yes I have been tempted to take the easy way out, but I'm still here, alive and kicking.
Yeah, I remember that thread. All I'm doing is giving you a heads-up. There are people who understand, I wish there had been some for my cousin. Take heart- I think you're tougher than you think you are. ;D