Your ideal woman/man

**stryder144** · 03-14-2002, 07:15 PM

Yowser *

My sentiments exactly!

**Hamond** · 03-14-2002, 09:56 PM

this is how I'd describe my ideal woman:

1. I'm 5'10". She must be at least 5 inches shorter than me lest I feel inadequate.
2. She must be willing to walk 3 steps behind me at all times. I'm a man and I deserve respect.
3. She can't have graduated from high school, and should have as little common sense as possible; must prefer unprotected and/or rough sex to other types.
4. Has blonde hair and blue eyes.
5. She must also have at least a D cup; I like fake boobies very much

6. Must be willing to cook, clean my house, do the dishes, iron and wash my clothes, dress and undress me whenever I need her to, and to make sure the taxes and bills get paid.
7. Must be too stupid to use a computer; I've never hit a girl before, but if I ever catch her typing 'rm -rf /'...
8. She must have lots and lots of money and should be willing to put it all into my accounts under my name (and out of reach of her dirty little paws).

That, my friends, would be my ideal woman. ;D

**Feztaa** · 03-14-2002, 10:34 PM

if I ever catch her typing 'rm -rf /'...

What?? You'd give her root privs?!?

:P

03-15-2002, 02:11 AM

Hrmmm that pics doesn't really do anything for me... I don't like her all that much... Her eyes ain't all that pretty. Sorry, but you can keep her.

**Hamond** · 03-15-2002, 08:40 AM

What?? You'd give her root privs?!?

:P

well, she might boot into single user mode...

but I don't date girls who are smart enough to figure stuff like that out. brains == sensible decisions == boring. 8)

**cga** · 03-15-2002, 03:06 PM

My ideal woman?

My wife. *;D

**cloverm** · 03-15-2002, 03:13 PM

My ideal woman?

My wife. *;D

Aw, that's so sweet! ;D

**stryder144** · 03-15-2002, 04:24 PM

well, she might boot into single user mode...

but I don't date girls who are smart enough to figure stuff like that out. brains == sensible decisions == boring. *8)

Don't you really mean brains == sensible decisions == "No, I will not date you! Now buzz off!" ? ;D ;D ;D

j/k You left yourself wide open for that one. Forgive me my impetuous nature. Please?

**Tyr_7BE** · 03-15-2002, 07:14 PM

Alright...gotta say it.

I want a girl
With a mind like a diamond
I want a girl
Who knows what's best

I want a girl
With shoes that cut
And eyes that burn
Like cigarettes

I want a girl
With the right allocations
Who's fast and thorough
And sharp as a tack

She's playing with her jewelry
She's putting up her hair
She's touring the facility
And picking up slack

I want a girl with a short skirt and a lonnnng jacket......

I want a girl
Who gets up early
I want a girl
Who stays up late

I want a girl
With uninterupted prosperity
Who uses a machete
To cut through red tape

With fingernails
That shine like justice
And a voice that is dark
Like tinted glass

She is fast and thorough
And sharp as a tack
She's touring the facility
And picking up slack

I want a girl with a short skirt and a lonnnnng.... lonnng jacket

I want a girl
With a smooth liquidation
I want a girl
With good dividends

And at the city bank
We will meet accidentally
We'll start to talk
When she borrows my pen

She wants a car
With a cupholder arm rest
She wants a car
That will get her there

She's changing her name
From Kitty to Karen
She's trading her MG
For a white Chrysler LeBaron

I want a girl with a short skirt and a lonnnnggggggggg jacket

And as far as an ideal man goes, he should stay the fuck away from my ideal woman.