I found this at ReactiveLinux.com, this is pretty funny!
1. Linux is a spying tool!
"Linux uses a Netscape like browser called Mozilla. Mozilla as the name implies is a Japanese Red Army browser available for free. Free is good, but not when you have a central server somewhere in the far east collecting all of your credit card and email information. Even IP numbers are stored in that server. This is a very dangerous program. Criminals can track your home address by using your IP address since every place has its own IP address. I consider myself lucky since that we are moving to a new place soon and not have to worry about my house address stored in that server. I have cancelled all my credit cards and new ones should be on their way now as I write this.
2. Linux has many hidden agendas!
The monitor went blank two months ago so I sent the PC back to the shop since it was under warranty. They refused to replace the monitor because they said it was the programs we were using that torched it. I had a big fight with them because I did not believe them and ended up buying a new monitor. Now I know that the hacker Linyos Torovoltos, the creator of Linux, has a special deal with the monitor industry. They pay him fees so that he inserts dangerous code, parts of a hacker program, in Linux to destroy the monitors. I am happy that I saved this monitor in time before that code was activated. God knows what other deals these people have with other industries, so stay away from Linux.
3. Linux teaches profanity and sexism!
I was completely shocked to see a program called BitchX running when I caught my son by surprise. That was the main reason for grounding him. Linux teaches your son profanity and hatred towards the other
sex. There are many other programs that use sexist names I've heard.
4. Linux is a pirate's heaven!
Linux has many programs that hackers use to steal music from people stereos by using the mp3 protocol, even when the internet connection is off! This is criminal activity, and your son can go to jail if he is caught doing it. Also be careful about some programs called rippers. These programs are used to rip music off a CD and store it in the hard drive. The music CD that you paid 15 or 20 dollars for is basically a blank CD after its ripped. Never lend a CD to anyone who is using Linux!
5. Linux is a virus!
Both Linux and Lilo are viruses. Lilo is a small virus that is used to load the main, and more destructive, virus Linux. When I caught my son using Linux I immediately rebooted and switched to windows. I scanned for viruses using Norton Anti Virus, and sure enough! Lilo was caught almost immediately and in vain, I've tried to remove it from the hard disk. I was shown the message "LI-" when I rebooted after removing Lilo. It seems that the virus Lilo detected it was going to be removed so it ruined the hard disk. The shop technician also told me that Linux extended the surface of the hard disk by using something called second extended files known to the hacker community by ext2. Even worst yet, there are new extended files that will completely ruin your hard disk called third extended files (ext3). These files do destory your hard disk surface by extending it to three folds! In short, I had to buy a new hard disk as the author suggested."