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Thread: My session with the Emacs psychiatrist

  1. #1

    My session with the Emacs psychiatrist

    I am the psychotherapist. *Please, describe your problems. *Each time
    you are finished talking, type RET twice.

    My sound doesn't work!

    Why do you say your sound does not work?

    When I use XMMS, I don't hear anything.

    What happened when you use xmms you do not hear anything?

    I opened the file and pressed the play button.

    What makes you believe that?

    I saw it with my own eyes.

    Maybe your plans have something to do with this.

    No, they don't.

    Is it because of your life that you say they do not?

    Maybe.

    Can you elaborate on that?

    Umm...

    I would appreciate it if you would continue.

    OK!! *My life has everything to do with it..!

    Are you sure that your life has everything to do with it?

    YES!!!!!

    I see... *Well, do you really think this is so?

    I'm going to kill you!!

    This is not a healthy way of thinking.

    You're right. *I'm sorry.

    Is it because of the people you hang around with that you are going
    through all this?

    They are kind of homocidal.

    Is it because of problems at school that you say they are kind of
    homocidal?

    No.

    Why not?

    Because...

    Does it bother you that I ask you that?

    Yes. *Yes it does.

    What makes you think yes it does?

    Because it bothers me.

    Is it because it bothers you that you came to me?

    I came to you because my sound wouldn't work.

    Are you annoyed that your sound would not work?

    Of course I am, you moron.

    How do you reconcile any hobbies you have?

    What does reconcile mean?

    Is it because of your sex life that you say what does reconcile mean?

    Where the hell did that come from?!

    Perhaps you could watch your tongue!

    My bad.

    Earlier you said it bothers you?

    Yes.

    Yes, hmmm... so, why do you say this is so?

    Because I want to play sound, and it won't work.

    When did you first know that you want to play sound and it will not
    work?

    Two hours ago, when I tried to play a Mozart piece.

    What would happen if you tried to play a mozart piece?

    The sound wouldn't work!! *Are you paying attention?!

    Perhaps this has something to do with hangups you have?

    Hangups?

    Go on, don't be afraid.

    Well...

    I need a little more detail please.

    No. *It has nothing to do with hangups. *And don't you dare say that
    it does.

    You're being a bit brief, please, go into detail.

    I think YOU need to go into detail.

    What makes you believe I might want to go detail?

    Your questions are vague. *They are quite offensive, too.

    Are you sure that they are quite offensive too?

    Yes.

    I understand. *So do you really think this is so?

    ...

    Can you would you please be more explicit?

    Are you serious?

    You mentioned that your sound would not work?

    Yes, are we finally going to get into the sound?

    Possibly your inhibitions are related to this.

    What inhibitions?

    Is it because of some problems in your childhood that you say what
    inhibitions?

    I don't think so.

    What makes you think it bothers you?

    What bothers me? *The inhibitions that I said I didn't have or the
    sound? *You are very confusing.

    Is it because of some problems at home that you are going through all
    this?

    Don't even go there...

    Don't tell me what to do. *I am the psychiatrist here!
    How do you reconcile your plans?

    I asked you 30 minutes ago what reconcile meant and you never told me.
    You asked me if not knowing what it meant had anything to do with
    my sex life...

    Why don't you avoid such unwholesome thoughts.

    Because...

    That's not much of an answer!

    I grew up in New York.

    Why do you say you grew up in new york?

    Because I did.

    And?

    And what?

    Earlier you said you want to play sound and it will not work?

    YES!

    Oh. ...And what makes you believe this is so?

    ARRRGGGGGGG!!!!!!!

    Could you go into more detail?

    YOU ARE NOT HELPING ME AT ALL!! *YOU'RE JUST ASKING THE SAME QUESTIONS
    OVER AND OVER AGAIN!!

    Maybe this is related to your life?

    SHUT UP!!

    Is it because of the people you hang around with that you say shut up?

    The people I hang around with have nothing to do with this!

    You mentioned that I would like to go detail?

    What? *Yeah, I think so.

    Perhaps problems at school could have caused this.

    Do you want to fight!?!?

  2. #2
    Guest

    Re: My session with the Emacs psychiatrist

    Did you get your sound to work?

  3. #3
    Guest

    Re: My session with the Emacs psychiatrist

    This is why I like ViM so much..... No bloat...

  4. #4
    Mentor cga's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2001
    Posts
    1,433

    Re: My session with the Emacs psychiatrist

    Gee, I use to do that on my TRS-80....

    BTW.... 8) Kate 8)

  5. #5

    Re: My session with the Emacs psychiatrist


    Did you get your sound to work?
    I haven't really tried yet. Hehe.

    Red Hat detected the sound card in a jiffy, but Slackware wants me to do some actual work.

  6. #6

    Re: My session with the Emacs psychiatrist

    who has way too much time on their hands? the person who does this and posts it on the net, or the person reading it?

  7. #7
    Senior Member
    Join Date
    Jun 2001
    Location
    Vancouver Island, British Columbia, Canada
    Posts
    291

    Re: My session with the Emacs psychiatrist


    who has way too much time on their hands? the person who does this and posts it on the net, or the person reading it?
    Either way, we're all in good company!

  8. #8
    Guest

    Re: My session with the Emacs psychiatrist

    ahh.... yet another loony in the making...

  9. #9

    Re: My session with the Emacs psychiatrist

    my computer wont start

    is this because your using windows?

    no, i hate windows but thats not the problem

    is that because you dont have a bios?

    I have a bios!

    please dont yell

    ok, i wont fricken yell

    please dont swear

    ill swear if i want to, ass hole

    again, pleae dont swear

    alright, sorry, i just get so mad

    what makes you mad?

    i have yet to figure that out, i thought thats why i came here

    no, you came here because you wanted to correct a problem

    in order to correct the problem, i need to figure out whats makeing me mad.

    your not the shrink, i am!

    *cries* dont yell at me!!!

    sorry

    'ats ok

    ...

    so, what other problems are you having

    my wife is making me come to these stupid meatings

    these meetings are not stupid

    yes they are

    no they arnt

    well i think they are, and thats final

    ok, on to your next problem......

    (to be continued)


  10. #10

    Re: My session with the Emacs psychiatrist

    i made that up as i went, btw

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