Warning: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is deprecated, use preg_replace_callback instead in ..../includes/class_bbcode.php on line 2962
Become A Better Listener
Results 1 to 7 of 7

Thread: Become A Better Listener

  1. #1
    Senior Member
    Join Date
    Jan 2005
    Location
    Neer Springfield, MA
    Posts
    443
    Are you bad at listening or can't concentrate to what people are saying because you have other worries. Well here are 10 ways to improve.

    I found this yesterday and it already sort of helps:


    1. Approach the listening experience from a state of


    To be centered is to be calm at a very deep level, to be without agendas or predispositions as to the outcome, and to be open to experience. Centeredness is a prerequisite to truly open listening. It sets the stage for the points below.

    2. Never rule out any topic of discussion as uninteresting.


    Creative people are always on the lookout for new information. While some conversations may be inane, it's wise to make sure the subject is not worthwhile before tuning out.

    3. Accept the speaker's message


    On the face of it, this would seem to be an argument for gullibility--for believing almost anything anyone tells you. It's not. The point here is to suspend judgment during the immediate experience of listening. In accepting "as is", you're not making a determination as to the truth or falsity of the statement, you're simply acknowledging exactly what the speaker is saying--right or wrong, good or bad, true or false. This capacity for total acceptance frees the mind to listen for other clues, for example ...

    4. Listen for the whole message.


    One estimate has it that 75% of all communication is non-verbal. If you take away the words, what's left? Plenty, it turns out. Beyond the words themselves is a host of clues as to what the speaker is communicating. Some examples: posture (rigid or relaxed, closed or open); facial expression (does it support the words?); hands (clenched, open, relaxed, tense?); eyes (does the speaker maintain eye contact?); voice tone (does it match the words?); movement (are the speaker's movements intense, relaxed, congruent (with the message) or conflicting; do they suggest that the whole speech is "staged"?) What you're looking for here are inconsistencies between with is said and what is really meant, clues that tell you the spoken message isn't really genuine. Get the idea?

    5. Don't get hung up on the speaker's delivery.


    Then there are factors that simply reveal an awkwardness in delivery rather than any attempt to mislead. The key is being able to distinguish between the two. It's easy to get turned off when someone speaks haltingly, has an irritating voice, or just doesn't come across well. The key to good listening, however, is to get beyond the manner of delivery to the underlying message. In order for this to happen, you have to resolve not to judge the message by the delivery style. It's amazing how much more clearly you can "hear" once you've made the decisoin to really listen rather than to criticize.

    6. Avoid structured listening.


    It's popular among some comunications teachers to recommend a format for listening, either in the form of questions ("What is the speaker's main point? What is he/she really saying?) or key words (e.g., purpose, evidence, intent). The problem with this approach is that it creates a dialogue of noise in the listener's mind which interferes with clear reception. Beter to operate from the openness of the centered state (above) and receive the information just as it comes, without any attempt to structure or judge it. Think of your mind as similar to the central processing unit of a computer in which the data comes in and is stored without change, available for subsequent access.

    7. Tune out distractions.


    Poor listeners are distracted by interruptions; good listeners tune them out and focus on the speaker and the message. It's a discipline that lends itself to specific techniques for maintaining one's focus. Here are some things that will help: Maintain eye contact with the speaker; lean forward in your chair; let the speaker's words "ring" in your ears; and turn in your chair, if necessary, to block out unwanted distractions.

    8. Be alert to your own prejudices.


    This goes along with #3 above, but it's so important that you may want to think specifically about the impact of your prejudices on your ability to really hear what's being commmunicated. Often, we are unaware how strongly our prejudices influence our willingness and ability to hear. The fact is: any prejudice, valid of not, tends to obscure the message.

    9. Resist the temptation to rebut.


    Why is it that, when we hear someone saying something with which we strongly disagree, we immediately begin mentally formulating a rebuttal? Many reasons, but one of the most common is our natural tendency to resist any new information that conflicts with what we believe. Keep in mind: you can always rebut later, when you've heard the whole message and had time to think about it.

    10. Take notes sparingly.


    The world seems to be split between those who take prolific notes and those who take few or none, with each side equally strong in its position. I come down toward the latter view for this reason: the more focused you are on writing down what is being said, the more likely you are to miss the nuances of the conversation. There are two good ways around this dilemma. You can write down only key words and then, after the conversation, meeting, etc., go back and fill in, or you can take notes pictorally, that is, by diagramming what the speaker is saying. It's a technique called, "mind-mapping" and it was first popularized by a writer named Tony Buzan well over a decade ago in a book entitled, "Use Your Head". You may want to look up his books; he's written several.

    as i said i helps sometimes when you are REQUIRED , to listen.

    The credit goes to www.topten.org

    @The Donald: The Top 10 Words That Entrepreneurs Use Which Limit Their Success:


    1. When I..


    Uh huh.

    2. If I can do x, then Y will result...


    Big if.

    3. It should...


    Yeah, it should, but WILL IT?

    4. I could...


    Yes, but WILL YOU?

    5. If I could just...


    Nah, it ain't that easy.

    6. Done deal...


    It ain't really done until the client's check has been cashed and the services/goods have been delivered.

    7. We're very close...


    Close to what, reality? Dream on.

    8. If only...


    If only pigs fly.

    9. If you'd just support me...


    Support yourself.

    10. No one understands what I am trying to do...


    Very likely, but that means you're really an entrepreneur. If they DID understand, you wouldn't have much to offer, then, would you?
    "If you enjoy what you do, you'll never work another day in your life."

    My man confucius said it well :D

    Why is my signature text blue I did not make it like that??

  2. #2
    Senior Member
    Join Date
    Jan 2005
    Posts
    399
    Ha,ha. A guide for listening, Must help people that have Dyslexia.

  3. #3
    Senior Member
    Join Date
    Jan 2005
    Location
    Neer Springfield, MA
    Posts
    443
    i just had to, its sort of funny.

    p.s. im not a bad listener. I just had to learn so I can finally comprehend what my teachers are saying when they yell at me. (I just have no clue what they say)
    "If you enjoy what you do, you'll never work another day in your life."

    My man confucius said it well :D

    Why is my signature text blue I did not make it like that??

  4. #4
    Mentor
    Join Date
    Aug 2004
    Location
    Toronto, Canada
    Posts
    1,159
    Good guide! I&#39;m a good <s>listener</s> reader.

  5. #5
    Associate
    Join Date
    Jan 2005
    Posts
    22
    Genny, you aren&#39;t a good listener? *Gasp*.
    Oh, well, that answers why you haven&#39;t been replying to all of my PM&#39;s at GTA Boards :/

  6. #6
    Advisor
    Join Date
    Sep 2004
    Location
    Ontario, Canada
    Posts
    650
    Sorry what you guys say I wasn&#39;t listening... :blink:

  7. #7
    Associate
    Join Date
    Jan 2005
    Posts
    22
    Congrats to Larry for...err...completely stinking at listening...

    <.<&#39;

Similar Threads

  1. Long time listener, first time caller
    By bdl in forum General Chat
    Replies: 4
    Last Post: 09-08-2001, 09:32 PM

Bookmarks

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •