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Thread: Cat Shit

  1. #1
    Senior Member comtux's Avatar
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    Cat Shit

    Ahhh god i just change my cat's litter box f###ing foul i am so going to build a linux box to take care of that for me i will proble use redhat as the linux distro

  2. #2
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    lol

  3. #3
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    Atlanta GA
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    Get a dog-----------

  4. #4
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    Indiana?... We named the dog Indiana!
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    Re: Cat Shit

    Cats are cool... and the only place they smell is the litter box. Just do what I did and dump the whole thing in a garbage bag (not the box though ). Oh, and the litter with crystals in it helps with the odor too.
    Steve

  5. #5
    Guest

    Re: Cat Shit

    Cat's. Bah. Get a dog.

  6. #6
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    The Matrix
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    Re: Cat Shit

    Pets bah...
    I really like the FVWM quote "Cats are people too" though.
    Uranus - born to be wild

  7. #7
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    Re: Cat Shit

    'comtux', should you ever have to give your cat a pill, read this advice:



    HOW TO GIVE A CAT A PILL......................

    1. Pick up cat and cradle it in the crook of your left arm as if holding
    baby. Position right forefinger and thumb on either side of cat's mouth
    and gently apply pressure to cheeks while holding pill in right hand.
    As cat opens mouth, pop pill into mouth. Allow cat to close mouth and
    swallow.

    2. Retrieve pill from floor and cat from behind sofa. Cradle cat in left
    arm and repeat process.

    3. Retrieve cat from bedroom, and throw soggy pill away.

    4. Take new pill from foil wrap, cradle cat in left arm, holding rear
    paws tightly with left hand. Gently force jaws open and push pill to back
    of mouth with right forefinger. Hold mouth shut for a count of ten.

    5 Retrieve pill from goldfish bowl, and cat from top of wardrobe.
    Call spouse from garden.

    6. Kneel on floor with cat wedged firmly between knees, hold front and
    rear paws. Ignore low growls emitted by cat. Get spouse to hold head
    firmly with one hand while forcing wooden ruler into mouth. Drop pill
    down ruler and rub cat's throat vigorously

    7. Retrieve cat from curtain rail, get another pill from foil wrap. Make
    note to buy new ruler and repair curtains. Carefully sweep shattered
    figurines and vases from hearth and set to one side for gluing later.

    8. Wrap cat in large towel and get spouse to lie on cat with head just
    visible from below armpit. Put pill in end of drinking straw, force
    mouth open with pencil and blow down drinking straw.

    9. Check label to make sure pill not harmful to humans; drink 1 beer to
    take taste away. Apply Band-Aid to spouse's forearm and remove blood from
    carpet with cold water and mild soap.

    10. Retrieve cat from neighbor's shed. Get another pill. Open another
    beer. Place cat in cupboard, and close door on neck to leave head
    showing. Gently force mouth open with dessert spoon. Flick pill
    down throat with an elastic band.

    11. Fetch screwdriver from garage and put cupboard door back on hinges.
    Drink beer. Fetch bottle of scotch. Pour shot, drink. Apply cold compress
    to cheek and check records for date of last tetanus shot. Apply whiskey
    compress to cheek to disinfect. Toss back another shot. Throw tee shirt
    away and fetch new one from bedroom.

    12. Call fire department to retrieve the damn cat from the top of the
    tall tree across the road. Apologize to neighbor who crashed into fence
    while swerving to avoid cat. Take last pill from foil wrap.

    13. Tie the little bastard's front paws to rear paws with garden twine
    and bind tightly to leg of dining table. Find heavy duty pruning gloves
    from shed. Push pill into mouth followed by large piece of filet steak.
    Hold head vertically and pour water down throat to wash pill down.

    14. Consume remainder of scotch. Get spouse to drive you to the
    emergency room, sit quietly while doctor stitches fingers and forearm
    and removes pill remnants from right eye. Call furniture shop on way
    home to order new table.

    15. Arrange SPCA to collect the "mutant cat from hell" and call local
    pet shop to see if they have any really small hamsters.

    HOW TO GIVE A DOG A PILL.................

    1. Wrap pill in bacon
    2. Toss in the air.....

    Happy Holidays All!!!!!!
    Everything I learn gives me another way to say \"OOPS!\" :oops:

  8. #8
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    LMAO

  9. #9
    Senior Member comtux's Avatar
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    LOL i love my cats i wish i could get a dog but right now i live in a apartment and there is no running room for a dog jeager that is soooo wrong but truthfull.
    Wenn Sie Spaß meines Englisch mich Willensfuckingtötung Sie bilden.

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