Reply With Quoteoh the irony
I heard a good one today.
An Israeli tank is chasing a fleeing Palestinian. The Palestinian turns around from time to time and shoots back at the tank from his gun. All of a sudden he drops the gun, raises his hands and tries to surrender.
An Israeli soldier emerges from the tank and asks the Palestinian:
"Are you out of ammo?"
Palestinian replies:
"Yes"
Israeli soldier:
"Would you like to buy some?"
;D
oh the irony
did you hear the one about the blonde who snorted Sweet N' Low packets?
she thought it was diet coke ;D
This guy walks into a local bar and asks the bartender for a drink, so the bartender gives him a drink and says
"If you can make my horse over there laugh, i'll give you all the beer you want for free."
so the guy says
"ok"
so he walks over to the horse and whipers something in its ear, and the horse just starts laughing its fuckin ass off.
so the guys walks over to the bartender and drinks all night long.
the guy decides to comeback the next day and asks.
"If I can make your horse laugh again, will I get all the beer I want again?"
"oh no not this time, if you can make him cry i'll give you all the free beer you want."
so the guy walks over to the horse and brings home around the corner for a few seconds and when they some back the horse is crying like a little school girl that just scraped her knee.
now the guys walks back to the bartender and starts to drink, and then the bartender asks
"how did you make my horse laugh and then cry??"
"well the first time I told him I had a bigger dick and this time I showed him"
;D
(Sorry for the length)
The Washington Post's "Style Invitational" once again asked readers to takeany word from the dictionary, alter it by adding, subtracting, or changing
one letter, and supply a new definition. Here are some recent winners:
1. Intaxication: Euphoria at getting a tax refund, which lasts until you
realize it was your money to start with.
2. Reintarnation: Coming back to life as a hillbilly.
3. Bozone (n.): The substance surrounding stupid people that stops bright
ideas from penetrating. The bozone layer, unfortunately, shows little sign
of breaking down in the near future.
4. Foreploy: Any misrepresentation about yourself for the purpose of getting
laid.
5. Cashtration (n.): The act of buying a house, which renders the subject
financially impotent for an indefinite period.
6. Giraffiti: Vandalism spray-painted very, very high.
7. Sarchasm: The gulf between the author of sarcastic wit and the person who
does not get it.
8. Inoculatte: To take coffee intravenously when you are running late.
9. Hipatitis: Terminal coolness.
10. Osteopornosis: A degenerate disease. (This one got extra credit.)
11. Karmageddon: It's like, when everybody is sending off all these really
bad vibes, right? And then, like, the Earth explodes and it's like, a
serious bummer.
12. Decafalon (n.): The grueling event of getting through the day consuming
only things that are good for you.
13. Glibido: All talk and no action.
14. Dopeler effect: The tendency of stupid ideas to seem smarter when they
come at you rapidly.
15. Arachnoleptic fit (n.): The frantic dance performed just after you've
accidentally walked through a spider web.
16. Beelzebug (n.): Satan in the form of a mosquito that gets into your
bedroom at three in the morning and cannot be cast out.
17. Caterpallor (n.): The color you turn after finding half a grub in the
fruit you're eating.
And the pick of the literature:
18. Ignoranus: A person who is both stupid and an asshole.
The 100 worst porn movie titles...
http://members.shaw.ca/stayasyouare/tohwpmt.html
[quote author=Lovechild link=board=17;threadid=9210;start=0#msg83236 date=1084612549]
The 100 worst porn movie titles...
http://members.shaw.ca/stayasyouare/tohwpmt.html
[/quote]
hehe, it had some funny ones...
this is better though: http://www.scoopy.net/humor/pornotitles.htm <= porn titles based on real movies
SEX NIGHTMARE #1
After a long night of making love, the young guy rolled over, pulled out a cigarette from his jeans and searched for his lighter.
Unable to find it, he asked the girl if she had one at hand.
"There might be some matches in the top drawer," she replied.
He opened the drawer of the bedside table and found a box of matches sitting neatly on top of a framed picture of another man.
Naturally, the guy began to worry. "Is this your husband?" he inquired nervously.
"No, silly," she replied, snuggling up to him. "Your boyfriend then?" he asked. "No, not at all," she said, nibbling away at his ear.
"Well, who is he then?" demanded the bewildered guy.
Calmly, the girl replied, "That's me before the operation."
[quote author=Lovechild link=board=17;threadid=9210;start=0#msg83236 date=1084612549]
The 100 worst porn movie titles...
http://members.shaw.ca/stayasyouare/tohwpmt.html
[/quote]
I knew I shouldn't have let curiosity get the better of me and looked up "butt nugget"!
[quote author=Baron_Flambe link=board=17;threadid=9210;start=0#msg83240 date=1084625599]
[quote author=Lovechild link=board=17;threadid=9210;start=0#msg83236 date=1084612549]
The 100 worst porn movie titles...
http://members.shaw.ca/stayasyouare/tohwpmt.html
[/quote]
I knew I shouldn't have let curiosity get the better of me and looked up "butt nugget"!
[/quote]
Yeah... curiosity killed the cat. Thats why i dont look up stuff like that.
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