Nick: i wanna burn this laptop like on the broken
spyderonbyback: lol and claim it on warrenty??
spyderonbyback: I wonder then the next broken eps comes out
Nick: "yeah, hi, my laptop was about to be taken by the feds, and i hit the self destruct button..i need a replacement"
spyderonbyback: "the feds sir??"
Nick Steele: "the FBI ma'am"
spyderonbyback: "can you please explain why they took your laptop"
Nick: "because i was wardriving outside of their headquarters madam"
spyderonbyback: "ok sir, why would do a terrorist act like that?"
Nick: "because i wanted to show those dirty feds their weaknes, ma'am"
spyderonbyback: "ok I am sorry I cannot give you a new laptop but what I can do is give you a 10% discount off any product of your choice"
Nick: "no ma'am, that will not do."
Nick: "ma'am, you have to remember, your warenty was advertised as a total warrenty"
spyderonbyback: "what would you like?, I cannot give you a new laptop because you used it for a terrorist act"
spyderonbyback: "Yes I know but you sir commited a crime"
Nick: "gimme my fuckin' money, bitch"
spyderonbyback: "Sir I cannot do that because you have had it for more then 30days"
Nick: "i'm sorry ma'am, i didn't mean to yell at you, but you have no idea how much it sucks. and i had a 1 year warrenty and only had it for 7 months to date"
spyderonbyback: "sir if you read your contrace it you will see the very very fine print saying that if you use you computer for illegal activites we can void your wannanty"
Nick: "but ma'am, those illegal activities all involved creating viruses, i did no such thing"
Nick Steele: *whispers to friend, just loud enough for you to hear "at least not on that laptop"*
spyderonbyback: "but you were war driving which is a terrorist act and that is a crome"
Nick: "ma'am, yes wardriving is a crime, but your not a cop, nor is your boss. wardriving itself had no effect on the laptop, i will buy from your competition and never look back and tell all of my clients to buy others if you dont replace it"
spyderonbyback: "sir would you like to talk to my boss??
Nick: "so you see ma'am, its either you guys replace it now, or you lose $40,000 of sales in the next two years"
Nick: "yes ma'am"
spyderonbyback: "ok sir one moment"
spyderonbyback: "Hello, Darl here how may I help you"
Nick: "darl..darl who?"
Nick: "dude, you work for ecstasy computers too!?!?"
spyderonbyback: "yes, why??"
Nick: "you know your in violation of the GPL, and cannot license linux, right?..you see sir, even if you win the case, you still deny the GPL..as a software company owner, you should know at the most the only code you have a right to -- the code you claimed was stollen"
spyderonbyback: "sir I no longer work for SCO, but I did own the code, I got setup by IB<"
spyderonbyback: "so what would you like to do about your laptop problem??"
Nick: "i would like a new laptop, sir, or at least the $2,300 i paid for it"
spyderonbyback: "unfortually I cannot do that you have violated your contract"
Nick: "no i didnt, sir"
spyderonbyback: "yes you did, you did something illegal"
Nick: "your contract says illegal acts /such/ as creating viruses"
Nick: "i created no such thing on that laptop"
spyderonbyback: "yes but if you read the fine fine print it says more"
Nick: "no sir, you didn't revise your contracts for two months after to add that"
Nick: "i sitll have a copy of my original contract, and thats what im going by"
spyderonbyback: "sir you original contract was a wrong copy, thats why there is a revision"
Nick: "mr. mcbride, the contract i signed is what i go by. the signatures on it, mine and your salesman, make it final. you cannot change it without my concent, which i never gave"
spyderonbyback: "ok sir I will give you a new ibook, but you will not have any tech support and no warranty"
Nick: "give me a one week warranty, so i know it works, please. i promise i wont burn it"
spyderonbyback: "no I cannot, why woudl you burn it??"
Nick: "no reason sir. but i would like to make sure i at least get a working laptop. EVERYTHING working."
spyderonbyback: "sir you have my word that the laptop will work prefect"
Nick: "one week DOA damage. if it is caused by me in any way, shape, or form i wont bother you"
Nick: "it isn't much to ask"
spyderonbyback: "sir these are the terms of your new laptop, but I will give you 3days of warrant on an ibook. yes this is a lot to ask"
Nick Steele: "that will do, thanks sir"
spyderonbyback: "your welome you should recive it in approx 6-12 weeks"
Nick: "ok, thanks sir. on the other hand, may i ask why your no longer with the santa cruiz operation?"
spyderonbyback: "I was ordered to quit my position there, but soon I well be working at Microsoft in marketing "
Nick: "why were you ordered to quit?"
spyderonbyback: "I cannot say"
Nick: "ok, sorry for wasting your time duder"
spyderonbyback: "you welome"