I think you may have misunderstood the options open to you in starting proftpd. One option is to let xinetd handle starting and stopping proftpd for you. In this case, you never need to start or stop the actual proftpd service, you just need to restart the xinetd service.
The second option is to start proftpd without the help of xinetd. In this case you simply need to execute the pfoftpd daemon from the CLI, create a run-level script to handle its booting, or add the path ot the prfotpd executable to to your rc.local script (I do it this way, since it is the simpliest). If you want to kill the server, simply do a 'pgrep pfroftd' to get its PID, then 'kill' that PID.
If you want to run proftpd through xinted, refer to the docs at proftpd.org, they will explain everything.
But, if I understand correctly in your asking 'I tried booting protpd before xinetd but that does'nt work,' then it seems that you are simply misunderstanding the options open to you in starting proftpd, namely that you 1) either start proftpd as its own deamon or 2) let xinetd handle the deamon for you. Option 2 is more secure, but you should not be trying to do both.
I hope this helps and that I understood your question correctly.
In my installation, I did away with using xinetd for proftpd and simply added this line to my rc.local script
This starts proftpd automatically everytime my box boots.